The Longest Journey
by MalecCuties
Summary: What should one do when one's loved one dies? How far would he go to see his love again? How will it end?
1. Chapter 1

"I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil."

― **J.R.R. Tolkien** , **The Return of the King**

What good can ever come when an immortal loves a mortal, a Shadowhunter? It will all end in death and sorrow. I was a fool to think that this love can last. Magnus thought bitterly as tears streamed down his face. He trailed his long, wrinkled-free fingers tenderly across pale - so pale and cold cheeks of his lover.

I will do anything, anything just to have you kiss me one more time, just to have you by my side once more. Magnus gripped his lover's hand as rain pattered down on them, diluting the deep red stain on the ground.

'No… No.. No..' Magnus heard vaguely behind him as he curled around his lover in a protective embrace before a young lady that resembles like his lover except for the now anguish brown eyes threw herself on her knees, hands fluttering across her brother's face. Stele on her other hand, desperately drawing one iratze after the other in vain. A hand fell on her shoulder before a boy crouched beside her. Isabelle threw her stele away and collapse onto Jace as Jace held her.

Although tears was oozing out of Jace's eyes, Jace managed to form a sentence with his voice shaking. 'How did you know where to find him?'

'After the demons managed to separate you, Alec tried his best to kill the demons. However, just as he was about to kill the last demon, another demon sneaked up on him. The demons then attacked him just leaving him alive enough to call me before I tracked him here.' Magnus said robotically without looking up. ' _Magnus… i… i love you. I hope… you find it in your heart to forgive me.' Alec said hoarsely before there was a gurgling sound. 'Alec, my Alec…. No please.' Magnus whimpered as he clutched his phone tightly while the other conjuring up a portal. He immediately dialed Alec's phone number, wishing that Alec will pick up the call and tell him that it was a joke. 'Alec! Alec, answer me goddammit.' Magnus screamed into his phone. However, his lover's voice never came out from the speaker only the constant beeping of the ringtone._

Magnus squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the painful memory of those final moments of Alec's life. 'We need to take him back to the Institute.' Jace said shakily. He tightened his hands around Alec's slim waist, heart filled with guilt that he never answered Alec's calls, cursing his stubbornness and hating himself so much. He pressed a kiss on Alec's forehead before lifting up the limp body as he stood. 'I want to bring him there' Magnus said without looking up.

When Magnus entered the Institute and placing Alec's body in the Infirmary, he sat down on a nearby chair. He just sat there, Maryse yell of anguish and pain, Isabelle's uncontrollable sob, Jace silent sobs, Magnus did not see nor heard them. He was lifeless inside.

Throughout the course of the next couple of days, not that Magnus was counting, Alec's family mourned while preparing for his funeral. On the day of his funeral, Alec was cleaned up and dressed in white, his dark hair and runes contrasting sharply. _Even in death, he looks so beautiful_. Magnus clasped Alec's hands, kissing them softly before placing them together with his Seraph blade on his chest. Alec's bow and arrow were placed beside him. 'It's time' Isabelle came in, her eyes brimming with tears.

Alec's body was placed on a stand so that his loved ones could pay their respects. One by one, loved ones went up and said their eulogies. When it came to Magnus turn, he climbed up to stand beside Alec.

'Many of you here will recognise me as the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Many of you are probably wondering what a downworlder is doing here. Today, I am here not as an ambassador for the Downworlder to express my condolences to the New York Institute. I am here as the lover of Alexander Lightwood. Alexander was the bravest, most loyal and sweetest person that I had ever known. He was the light, the pillar of support to many although he is always hiding in the shadows. Not many have been able to acknowledge his worth. Including me. I had let him slip through my fingers and now he is gone. I will never be able to see his smile. How his face lit up upon seeing his siblings. How he cares so deeply for everyone. All I want to…' For the first time, the place was quiet, the only sound was the sniffing of the audience and the speaker. For the first time, the High Warlock of Brooklyn broke down. 'All I want to … is to see his blue eyes again, to see his smile, to cuddle him and to tell him i love you one last time' Magnus finished softly as tears flowed and make a track on his caramel skin, fist clenching tightly by his sides. Just then, he felt a pair of arms engulfing him in a tight hug. He peered from the corner of his eyes and saw a familiar pair of deep chocolate eyes which was shining with unshed tears and filled with sorrow. He buried his head in Isabelle's neck as his shoulder heaved uncontrollably. Not long later, Clary, Jace and Simon joined in, sharing the same grief while taking comfort that they will have each other to lean on and share this grief.

After Magnus had managed to somewhat gather himself, he untangled himself from his friends embrace and walked towards where his lover was lying. He placed a scarlet vibrant red rose within his lover's pale hands before muttering softly while tears were still streaming down his face, ' _Ave_ _Atque Vale, Alexander my love.'_ At the same time, leaning down and giving Alec a final kiss on his lips before walking back to his seat. At the final moments of the ceremony, when the silent brothers were about to lit Alec's coffin, Magnus looked up and saw that the setting sunlight surrounded Alec which gave him an unearthly glow, making him look like an angel that Magnus always knew he was. On the ground, white lilies bloom around his coffin, before it was all consumed by the bright orange flames that charred everything in its path.


	2. Chapter 2

"Without you in my arms, I feel an emptiness in my soul. I find myself searching the crowds for your face - I know it's an impossibility, but I cannot help myself."

― **Nicholas Sparks** , **Message in a Bottle**

The following days and weeks, Magnus was haunted by the sound of Alec's helpless plea for help and forgiveness. Gone were those days where Magnus would dress to impress. Gone were those days where he will put on makeup. Gone were those days when he will meet clients. Even Chairman Meow was depressed who was constantly yowling and crying out. Every night without fail, Magnus would cry himself to sleep. Each morning, he would reach out only to find an empty space beside him. He refused to see Alec's siblings as it will remind him that Alec was indeed gone.

 _6 weeks_ A man devoid of makeup, hair sticking up everywhere and flopping into his eyes laid on his stomach as he squeezed his eyes shut trying to block out a ray of sunlight that managed to slip through the curtains. Breathing in slowly, he lifted himself up and did his routine mechanically. When he is done, he sat on his dark sofa within his dark apartment. The sound of the morning rush hour filtered into the apartment. Honking of the cars could be heard. The ringing of the bicycle. The morning greetings of neighbours. As the sunlight slower crept towards his legs, the honking of the cars lessen. The clanking of the utensils on the plates. The ringing of the delivery bicycles. The sound outside dwindled as the light fades. Soon, only the occasional sound of the cars driving by could be heard.

Magnus stood up and walked robotically to his large cold bed and flopped down. As waves after waves of memories of Alec and him flashed, tears sprang to his eyes. _Why… why…_ Magnus sobbed, shoulders heaving. After about 30 minutes, the sound of sobs quieted before the room was plunged into absolute silence.

A bright light woke him up. Magnus groaned and lifted his arms to cover his face. Lifting the other hand, he desperately reached towards his curtains. However, his hand grasped at nothing and he fell face first to the ground. Only to find that he did not have a hard landing. Whipping his head up, his vision came up blanked. Blinking his eyes rapidly, he made out a vague outline of… _wings?_ Looking around in desperation, he was surrounded with fluffy white clouds that mould around his form.

'Magnus Bane.' voice as soft and fluid as silk yet filled with confidence floated into his mind making him jumped yet feel relax. 'Do not be alarmed. Your sorrow has been heard and your wish shall be granted.' 'What… what wish do you speak of?' Magnus stuttered. The figure before him took shape. Long white hair floated around her billowing in sync with her long white gown. Her unnatural blue eyes, filled with such warmth and love gazed down upon him. Her white wings folded neatly behind her, the tips of her wings were nearly reaching her head. 'I am sure you know what I speak of.' her voice resonated within Magnus head, lips not moving. Tears welled up and Magnus, hating to look weak in front of anybody, looked down, clenching his fists, willing the tears away. Just then, he felt a soft caress before a slight pressure under his chin forcing his head up. 'Crying for the lose of your loved one is not a form of weakness. It signifies your devotion and your adoration for him. It is to show that you remembered him. Weep and let all your sorrows out and only then can you truly feel the light and be at peace that he is in a happier place.' 'But… But… the guilt. The guilt of letting him go. The guilt of knowing that he went without knowing that I loved him. It hurts.' Magnus said in between sobs, hand clutching tightly against his heart. 'I have seen your love and I am truly touched by your love. Therefore, I will grant you that wish. But be warned, the road to finding your love will not be an easy one. It will be filled with pain and agony. In the end, of the search, you will find what you seek and more.'

Magnus whipped his head up quickly and stared into the deep sea blue eyes that really resembled like Alec's not quite believing what he heard. 'How do I know where to go?' Magnus whispered it out. She smiled and her eyes twinkled before she turned around. Magnus eyes was assaulted with white light, losing his vision. He felt as if he was being sucked downwards before he was swallowed by darkness, a vague sound reached his ears before he started to fall freely.

Magnus jerked upwards. Cat pupils dilating. Heart thumping wildly. Sweat trickling down. He raised his hand and carded it through his midnight hair, freeing the tangles before wiping it across his face where he found traces of moisture. _Is this real?_ Lying on the top of what was previously known as the Alec's side, a white daphne flower with a tinge of pink at the corner of the petals entwined with a lily flower seems to emit a white glow.

 _It is real._ Magnus tumbled out of the bed in haste and yanked the curtains back, some of the curtain's hook popping out if their holder. The sky was still dark. But as he squinted he could see a speck of pink on the horizon as if it was a warning. A warning of what it was to come. Seconds later, orange and pink spread reaching far and wide. As it spreads, a bright orb,the brightest he had seen so far, peek out as if it was afraid to show how bright it would shine, how it would illuminate the world with its brightness. As the sun inched up, it illuminates the world, turning the sky bright blue. _How apt._ Magnus smiled wobbly.

Magnus turned around and started packing his bags, getting ready for the long trip ahead. He tore out a page from a worn notebook and scribbled, _take care of Chairman, I will be gone for a quite a while. Thank you so much._ In a flash of blue, the note was sent to his front door. He turned back to his bed, the lily and the daphne on top of the pillow was soaked in the sunlight.

Magnus took a deep breath to steel himself. Golden-green cat eyes swept his eyes across his dark apartment before stopping at the ray of light that shone through the curtains. He clenched his fists, conjured a portal before stepping in.

 _Follow the brightest star for it will always show you hope each day._


	3. Chapter 3

"Not all those who wander are lost."

― **J.R.R. Tolkien** , **The Fellowship of the Ring**

Perspiration trickled down his face. Dirt coated his fingernails. His shoes were worn out, soles flapping as he took each step. The canopy provided a much needed shelter from the scorching afternoon sun. Sunlight filtered through the dense canopy, lighting the forest floor enough for Magnus to see where he was going.

After following the sun for days or maybe even weeks, he had finally tracked it down on a desolate island where the sun shone the brightest. After protalling to that island, he realised that other than using his magic to refill his bottle, Magnus was basically left handicapped as he was unable to use magic at his disposal. Though frustrating as well as infuriating, Magnus had not once uttered a single word of protest. The notion of giving up had never once crossed his head.

Looking up at the glaring sun again, he realised that the sun is already setting, painting the sky orange. Magnus had lost track of how long he had been on the island. Time seems to run at a different frequency here. A faint outline of a full large moon on the pale blue sky can be seen, signifying that it is time that he make camp. He picked some berries from the trees and gathered wood. Slitted pupils lengthening, he pulled his tattered clothes around himself and huddled around the fire, desperately seeking what little warmth that the fire could offer. Closing his eyes, he remembered the gentle smile that Alec blessed him with at the end of a tiring day from seeing his seemingly never ending appointments. He remembered the sense of warmth and safety that he felt when Alec was in his arms. He remembered those mornings when he would wake up and see Alec, the ever morning raiser, wearing his black rimmed glasses, propped against his extensive collections of pillow, one hand cradling a book, the other buried in Chairman Meow's fur as it purred contentedly at the attention that it is receiving. He remembered those times that Alec would sing when he was not aware that Magnus was still awake. Those lyrics played in his head and slowly, he succumbed in the hands of sleep.

 _Clouds. Feathers. So white. A flash of blue. Oh so soft. What is that? Magnus's eyes widened in disbelief, he tiptoed and stretched as far as he can go. Don't go he mentally whimpered, pleading. A soft smile was the last thing he saw before feeling a sense of weightlessness. No…_ Magnus jerked up, the second time since he saw the angel. The trees surrounded by a cloud of mist. Veiling them, hiding them, seemingly trying to conceal something. A flash of white. In the next blink of his eyes, nothing was there. The mist seems to have lifted. Sunlight illuminated the forest, giving it a very serene feel. Green with few strokes of brown with some pink, yellow, orange slipping in. _I must have been hallucinating._ Magnus rubbed a hand across his face. Picking up his bottle, he stood up, stretched and looked up at the sun which seems to be smiling at him, feeling rejuvenated and recharged for some unknown reasons. He picked up a stick and continued his hike, eating his berries from the previous night with a spring in his steps.

However, Magnus should have anticipated that nothing was going to be that smooth sailing. As he continued to walk, he realized that the trees starting to get less dense. The barks of the trees were no longer brown. Upon closer inspection, the barks were in fact charred beyond recognition, bent in a odd shape, sharp thin tips of the branches seems to curl into a claw, stretching towards him. A gust of wind blew past him and he shook uncontrollably. A layer of grime and dirt covered the sky, blocking his view of the sun. Hunching, he continued on. Every step that he took weigh like a stone. Fatigue overwhelmed him and he felt chilled to the bone. Just as he was about to collapse, Magnus saw a speck of white that stood out from the grey gloomy background. Magnus dragged his feet closer to it and dropped to his knees. From his blurry vision, he identified it as a white rose. Reaching out, he took the flower and cradled it to his chest as tears started to form at the corners of his eyes. Closing his eyes to will the tears away, Magnus felt a gentle caress on his nose. With one eye opened, a bright blue butterfly fluttered and landed on his nose, flapping its wings, fluttering around him before drifting away gracefully. Magnus followed the butterfly with his eyes before the butterfly disappeared, strength renewed. He stood up and carried on with all his might.

 _One hundred and eleven thousand and one hundred and eleven steps. One hundred and eleven thousand and one hundred and twelve steps._ Magnus counted as his feet slapped heavily on the ground. His eyelids drooping and his head aches. Peering up from his eyelashes, he made up a vague outline of greenery which was framed with orange with a hint of pink clouds. However, when Magnus quickened his pace to be surrounded by life again instead of this gloom, the wind blew against him, making it harder to walk forward faster. Magnus squared his shoulders and trudged on despite such opposing and harsh conditions. He shielded his eyes with his hands and kept his eyes set on the horizon. Finally, he stumbled through the fringe of the forest and collapse, energy trained and eyes dropping. _I need to go on._ Magnus thought and tried to stand only to feel a sense of vertigo, black spots obscuring his vision. Magnus collapsed again. The blurry picture of the sun rising and cocooning him up in the warmth. He caught a glimpse of a blue butterfly flapping its wings elegantly landing on his nose before Magnus once again was swallowed by the dark.

 _Its burning, my skin is burning._ Magnus woke up, hands reaching up to wiped his forehead only to find it … _Clean_? Shaking his head to clear his mind, he looked back only to find himself surrounded with the usual greenery that he was first greeted with when he first portaled to the island. There were no traces of dark gloomy sky and harsh chilling wind. Only the cool and fresh air with a faint smell of decay. _Was it all just a dream? How long was I out?_ Magnus pondered before pushing himself into a standing position. He searched for some fresh and edible fruits to fill his stomach that was growling like a monster. Afterall, you don't live for centuries and not pick up some small but yet essential survival skills. Sitting, he pinpointed the approximate position of the sun through the canopy while he enjoyed his breakfast, if you can even consider that as breakfast. With a full stomach and well rested body, Magnus continued with his journey.

As he matched on, Magnus spotted some form of life within the forest that he never noticed. Squirrels rushed away from his feet. The swish of air as the relatively still air was disturbed by the flapping of the wings. The chirping of the birds slice through the silent forest before the creaking of crickets seemingly answered the calls, creating a beautiful symphony of noise. The slow rustling of leaves as the wind blow past before the fast crunching of the dropped leaves as an animal dashed across the forest accompanied the music. Soon, the gushing of water joined in, like a perfectly rehearsed orchestra. _Wait what? Water?_ Magnus turned left and followed the sound of water. However, as he walked forward, the sound of water got stronger and yet he had not caught a glimpse of water. Frowning, Magnus was about to turn around when a bright blue bird flew past him, before making a sharp turn and vanished. Magnus eyes widened and ran forward, turning and dashed through a veil of leaves. He appeared at the other side and true enough, he found that he was standing at the top of a majestic waterfall.

Turning around, all the trees were like an army waiting for his command. Birds flew around in the vast sky. However, everything paled in comparison to the setting sun. It shone the brightest that he had ever seen illuminating the bright blue sky. Fluffy white dyed orange pink and red clouds curled into different shapes. A faint outline of a rainbow can be spotted if Magnus squinted when he looked down. The gentle wing caressed his sweaty cheeks and filtered through his unkempt hair. Magnus did not know what compelled him to lift his hands up and he did just that and the wind encompassed his body, swirling around his body. As the sun was half hidden within the horizon, within the brightest centre of the sun, a shine came out, bleaching his visual purple.

 **Hey my beautiful readers, thank you so much for reading this story! Love you guys (:**

 **Reply to comment**

 **DareToDream123 : Thank you so much for being my first reviewer, it means a lot to me that my story is worth commenting for. I absolutely love your Lost Hope fanfiction and I sincerely hope that you will update it faster. Thank you so much once again. (:**

 **Motivation if you ever need: The only comments that are worth your attention are those that are given by those who truly care about you.**


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note:

Im being so mean to do this to all my beautiful followers. I feel so bad and guilty. ok I am a terrible author but I am sorry to do this to you precious darlings out there.

I will be on hiatus for a while as I am going to have my exams soon. JC is tough (JC is equivalent to collage in some countries I think so) and I have just so many tests coming out.

I promise you people that I will definitely update this and I am not going to dump this story. I will not leave this incomplete. (I will probably update it in probably 6 to 7 weeks time keep my fingers cross). I am also planning out a new story as this story is coming to an end. haha

Ok not to bore you guys any longer. See you soon and hopefully people will still read my story.

MalecCuties

If you want to follow me on tumblr or inspire me to write any fics, like oneshot I can try, it is just my username.

Thank you so much for all your support and love. (:(:


	5. Chapter 5

So Sorry for the long wait. Hope you all enjoy this chapter.

All mistakes are mine. I apologise in advance for the mistakes.

"New day, new hopes, new life!"

― **Lailah Gifty Akita**

 _Well done Magnus Bane, son of Asmodeus, your strength and determination have proved your worth. I am indeed touched by your love for Alexander. I am the Angel of love and rebirth. Welcome to the home of the Angels._ The angel that Magnus saw before greeted him. Magnus managed a weak smile, not quite believing what he had just heard. He sat down onto the soft grass.

 _Do not look so shock. I believe now it will be a good time to pay my side of the bargain._ The angel smiled, reaching her hands out and caressed his messy hair. _Before that, I imagine you would like to clean up._ Magnus nodded his head weakly. With a snapped of her fingers, Magnus was no longer standing by the waterfall. He was instead standing in a bathroom coloured blue. As a ray of light hit against the blue surface, the light refracted and a faint outline of the rainbow can be seen. Turning his body in a half circle, Magnus came face to face with a large circle pool filled with clear water. Steam rose and curled upwards from the surface of the water.

Still in awed, Magnus stripped his clothing robotically as he stumbled his way to the pool. Using the tips of his toes, he tested the temperature of the water only to find it at the ideal temperature. Magnus lowered himself into the pool slowly. When he sat down, the warmth of the water seeped into his body seemingly, relaxing his tense and tired muscles. As the adrenaline ebbed away, Magnus eyes start to droop, sending him into a blissful sleep, one not plagued with nightmares for once.

Black eyelashes fluttered open to the sound of soft tinkling. Magnus groaned as he pushed himself upright. Bones popping as he pushed his hands above this head to loosen the tension within his muscles. The soft lapping of the water against his skin reminded him that he was still within the pool. Rinsing his hair once more, he grabbed the white towel that felt amazing against his skin that was conveniently by his head to towel-dry himself. As Magnus bent to grabbed his used clothes that he left on the floor only to straighten up again to survey the room.

Tucked in a corner of the room, a set of clean clothes was folded and stacked neatly in a pile. _I see that you are awake and fresh._ Magnus jolted, his hands paused in mid-stroke to smooth the clothes out. From the corner of his eyes, he saw the angel that had previously greeted him on the mountain. Magnus gave a small nod to acknowledge that he had heard her.

Tugging the knots in his hairs, he inquired, " when will I be able to see Alexander?" His voice cracking at his lover's name and flinching at the end of the sentence he said his lover's name.

The angel smiled. Without uttering another word, she offered her hands to Magnus. Magnus eyes her hands apprehensively. _Take a leap of faith._ The soft words drifted into his mind. Magnus reached out his hand. When their hands connect, a blinding white light flashed in front of his eyes and a splitting headache assaulted him.

After his vision is cleared and the haziness that he felt cleared away, he looked up only to be blinded by the brilliance of the place. Large crystals that gave of a blue and white hue chandeliers hang from the ceilings that seems to never end which are supported with large huge columns. The soft chattering around him drifted around him and he realises that he was in a great hall with people. His attention was diverted when he felt a soft brush on his arms that felt like feathers. _Wait features?_ Upon identifying the one who rubbed against him, he was appalled to see that a huge magnificent wings that extended out from the person's back. He then realises that he was surrounded by angels.

The hall was filled with people and at the front centre of the hall, there seems to be a large platform that reflects the light given off by the lights emitted by the majestic chandelier hanging off from the ceiling. Decorating the 2 curving staircase were bundles of red roses, filling the room with the smell of roses. Suddenly, the lights dimmed, dragging Magnus attention away from the beautiful room to the platform where the angel that previously greeted him was standing on illuminated by a spotlight.

'Welcome everyone. It's time to celebrate that another one of us has finally joined our ranks. Let the party begin!' As the last word left her lips, the room was illuminated with different lights and music blasted from the speakers that was originally not there. Magnus, being one who always never miss a chance to party, however did not feel up to it. He quietly walked to a dark corner of the room. Upon reaching his destination, he caught a glimpse of an illuminous blue eyes in the corner of his eyes. Without registering his actions, he instinctively turned his head and stared right in the eyes that have always been engraved his mind. _Those eyes…_ his mind short-circuited.

In front of him, stood the man that he loved. His long lean body learning on the wall behind him, dark enchanting blue eyes stared at the dance floor gloomingly. His dark messy hair hung limply covering, albeit unsuccessfully, his brilliant blue eyes. His black shirt and that _awful_ jeans…. Magnus's eyes ate up the view in front of him. Alec looked exactly the way as he remember. The only difference was the giant wings that sprouted from his backs. _They definitely suited him. He is, always has been and always will be, an angel._ As if by fate, _maybe not,_ Alec's eyes turned towards him. Magnus watched as the blue eyes widened in recognition and how Alec stood straighter.

It seems that there is a magnetic field surrounding them, they gravitated to each other. Before any of them realized it, they were standing before each other. The world around them fade away. There was electricity sparks radiating before them as golden-green eyes locked with the blue eyes. Neither of them wanting to the one to make the first move.

After an eternity, Magnus raised one hand and caressed the pale cheeks before him which immediately flushed a deep red. Not being able to resist temptation, their lips collided, neither of them know who first started to lean in. Their lips slotted and fitted together. They kissed as if it was going to be the last kiss that they were going to shared. Although neither of them knew that it was going to be the first of the many many many kisses that they were going to share forever. ( **though they might know subconsciously)**

Finally, Magnus pulled back and stared at the ruby red swollen lips. His broken heart slowly started to fit together back again. He swept his thumb gently over the tears that had began to slipped from the eyes that he loved so much. 'There you are…' Magnus whispered softly before they began to kiss again as the lights danced and flashed around them with the aroma of roses encased them.

~The End~

Thank you everyone for going with me on this journey!

Happy New Year everyone

Till we meet next time!(:

MalecCuties


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